Dear Mr. A. Darling

I don't know you (well, I know Alistair Darling, the Chancellor of  the Exchequer but not Alistair Darling the person if you know what I mean) but you do give me reasons for not liking you.
First fo all, you are Scottish (well, you're not Scottish by birth but since you were elected to the Scottish Parliament and live in Scotland, I consider you Scottish). In general, Scottish people are a bit weird; I mean, your accent is horrible and the cities you live in are loud and dirty.
Secondly, there was this incident called 'Child benefit data scandal' (what an expression), remember? Wikipedia tells me:

"Darling was Chancellor when the personal and confidential details of over 25 million British citizens went missing while being sent from his department to the National Audit Office. A former Scotland Yard detective stated that with the current rate of £2.50 per person's details this data could have been sold for £60 million. The acting leader of the Liberal Democrats, Vince Cable, put the value at £1.5bn, or £60 per identity."

Furthermore, "In May 2009, The Daily Telegraph reported that Darling changed the designation of his second home four times in four years, allowing him to claim for the costs of his family home in Edinburgh, and to buy and furnish a flat in London including the cost of stamp duty and other legal fees."

Any excuses?

Finally, what I heard on the radio and read in the newspapaer this morning, I didn't like at all. YOU RAISED THE TAXATION ON CIDER! Not that I'm  particularly into cider ( I actually don't really like it) but my friends do and I really don't want my friends to be upset (that might spoil our nights out, I'm sure you get my point).
I was wondering if you could call the whole thing off, so everyone could be happy again.

Yours faithfully,
the girl who doesn't know you (I prefer to stay anonymous since you might get  abit angry at me)